A friend and colleague said to me at a recent professional conference that she doesn’t believe in work-life balance, rather she looks for work-life harmony. If that didn’t capture exactly what I’ve been trying to say to students and other colleagues for so long, I don’t know what could! This is not a new concept, but one I’ve been trying to re-frame personally.
Then a few days later I read an article in Business Insider saying the exact same thing. The CEO of Amazon expresses some of these same sentiments. When you find your true calling and passion, it gets very difficult to turn work or life outside of work on and off. To try to do so is self-defeating.
The difference is not trivial. The clues are in the definitions and synonyms you find through a simple web search. Balance is about even distribution and equilibrium. It connotes impartiality. Harmony, meanwhile, is about agreement, combination, and even peace. What words would you rather choose or embrace related to the relationship between work and life? I really appreciated this author’s very personal and practical take on Balance vs. Harmony.
I’m curious how those of you reading this experience work-life harmony. Is there a real difference? What do you actually do to achieve harmony?
Whatever you feelings about this – know that it is OK that your work and non-work intersect. Embrace it; understand it is messy and sometimes confusing; and at the end of the day try to achieve harmony between the two. You spend so much time thinking about or doing work, it just seems to make sense that you seek harmony as opposed to some artificial sense of balance.
As the world is continually made smaller through social media, I find some of us are lulled into thinking we “know” people and things because we read a post about it. Or that we are somehow worldly because we have a few friends in international places. My challenge for you is to go further in 2017. Do not hide in your own neighborhoods, with your own friends. I can think of no more important message than this: go places, and do things.
This is the way the world can be made safer – this is how we begin to dismantle hate and bias. No class or workshop will fully teach you how to value others – only your relationship with others can do that. Despite what you may hear from the highest political leaders in our land, the path to peace and happiness is through embracing differences, not hiding from them or sending them away. Here are some tips to get started and get the most out of your “going and doing”:
Locate a place that is “culturally” different from you (e.g., another part of town, another city/state/country, a place of worship where no one talks or looks like you, etc.). Notice these don’t require a lot of money to do this. Of course maybe you do have resources to spare and do want to travel across the world – that is good too.
Before you go, read something (objective/academic) about where you are going. This will help you a great deal in appreciating the “going and doing.” This means you look outside of the popular news media to gain understanding.
Tell people about it! You never know who may want to help you get there, go with you, or have experience in that culture. Share what your going and doing goals are so we can support you!
Meet someone while there and exchange information with them. Follow up with them on a regular basis. Wanna know how to lead and follow in diverse environments? Build relationships with people different from yourself – you’ll be forever changed:)
Write about it. Don’t let the feelings, the ah-ha’s, the anxieties escape you. John Maxwell said that reflection is like the crock pot of the mind – let the thoughts simmer until they are ready. You have to capture those moments if you are ever to make meaning of them.
Now share this with people you care about, and set out to do it!
Tom Matson wrote in his book, “UNFROZEN: A Father’s Reflections on a Brain Tumor Journey:”
Grace: a word and associated actions I’ve never been able to comprehend. I don’t think our minds can fully grasp grace. I know many people could define grace differently, but for me, I see it as receiving love when we don’t necessarily deserve it. It’s love when we least expect it, and it’s love when we have done nothing to receive it.
I use this word often in my work as a Vice President. Particularly when working in a sector of higher education where students struggle to make ends meet, get to class, eat, fit in, and support their families. A sector where employees show up to do their best, but don’t always get there, or who are constantly challenged by shrinking resources and battered by the tides of the changing sea that is higher education. All of this is compounded by the ugly realities that plague us as a society, including all the ism’s we hear about and experience daily. What I realize is still missing in so many places is grace.
If we could all just give a little more grace, and be more full of grace, then it makes life more bearable. As a Christian, I believe that grace and mercy sit at the core of the love that saves us. If it were not for these twins we would be lost. So I often wonder how I can give grace in my interactions, as I teach acceptance in the work I do. I call on my colleagues who are engaged in the oftentimes thankless and tough work of education to give each other grace as we struggle through this life. Sometimes its the only thing that we have left, and its the only thing that keeps us trying despite the difficulty.
I don’t know this young scholar all that well, but social media has a way of blessing us at the most unexpected times. His words traveled across the ocean to fall on my heart at a time I really needed to read it. His words also reminded me of gifts from two of my favorite authors, bel hooks and Paulo Coelho. All of us wrestle with loneliness and solitude, and it can be hard to find your way in that moment. His blog post helped me to think through my loneliness and solitude in a time when those two fiends are regularly finding their way in my life.
I’m having trouble finding peace right now. So maybe I’m not the best person to write about the necessity of peace in your life. Or maybe I am. I’m going to talk about what I know I should be doing in these tumultuous moments, and hopefully through that, we can all get closer to where we need to be.
As a Christian I go first to Christ to find my peace (at least I should). I’m reminded of how despite the storm raging outside of the ship, Jesus was sleeping soundly inside. I’m reminded how everyone around him were completely melting down, in an actual storm that threatened their lives. I’m reminded of how they did this despite literally being in the presence of God. I’m reminded how I do the same thing everyday. I have so much around me that reminds me of God’s peace and goodness, yet I find myself feeling overwhelmed by my personal storm.
So I am re-committing to what I know about storms, and how to get through them. Here is what I know from personal experience:
Storms happen for a reason – wait it, stay faithful, and think about the sunshine on the other side
Storms are temporary – even when it doesn’t feel like they are
God is still in control – He’s not the list bit rattled or surprised by what seems to be out of the blue
Other people are experiencing the same storm, or a similar storm – I can seek support and solace in my relationships until it’s over
The last storm didn’t take me out, neither will this one, so I still have a lot of value on this Earth.
So whether you are challenged by a difficult relationship, or assignment, or job, or loss, hang in there. If for no other reason than to say you did, hang in there. Share this with someone who may need it, and let me know if we can help each other through our storms.